Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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