There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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