"it" just moved
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
