HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
