just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Two words: nipple clamps
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