Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
