Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
