she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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