he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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