The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
