just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
