hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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