You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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