So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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