Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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