Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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