tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
