Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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