And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
