So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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