So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
