her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
