his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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