I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
