I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I currently don't understand fingers.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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