I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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