My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
