guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
