SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
