oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
