shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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