bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
