Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
