i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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