I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm passing your future prison.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
