We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize