oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
