singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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