Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
