No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
