i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize