I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
