I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
