Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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