so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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