those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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