i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
