That's when you crack a 10am beer
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
