I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
