The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
