I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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