he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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