And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
