And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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