Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
