i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This gyro tastes like lonliness
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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