so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
