when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
