I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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