so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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