ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
