Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
