Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
