Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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